A Damned Day

As the leaves change
the neon lights flicker like confetti
stuck on windows and corners of tall
iridescent buildings across Manhattan
I remember your eyes
so green that afternoon
staring at nothing
your hands fondling inside your pockets
then you, so indifferently, sat on a dirty park bench
spoke so softly and told me goodbye so nicely
You knew that was the end
Don't pretend to ask for something
you never needed or will long for anymore
Don't turn the memories into shit
by keeping me on a leash
You can find a dog at a pet shop
and personal bitches at filthy brothels
or even at those VIP clubs where you seem to know everybody
for some mysterious reason
where you go to socialize and to think you look cool
to get your ego massaged by money-hungry blood-suckers
Don't you dare ruin my image of you
hiding a ring in your suitcase
the one I hoped would end up on my finger
in a distant far off time and happy place
Such a shame
The man I see today is decayed
like the love-starved bugs infested your mattress
sucked your rich blood dry at night
Your taste curdled in my mouth
clogged like baby milk in my throat
a someone else, without me in your heart
a hidden tear from the very start
But I'll be here
with the bitterness you felt
locked in the dungeons of my anguished core
It's constantly transfused
through the lovemaking we'll never again trade
as the cycle of the moon chokes me with these lonely sighs
your kiss became a carcass stinking up my craved soul
This is all because a long time ago
you buried me with the shovel I handed over to you
That damned day
when I chose to get on that plane
and silently watched you get way
That damned day
when I let you get on that plane
and you silently threw my love away