Worthless Rhymes

This I dedicate to my deepest and strongest of loves. A love lost in the midst of words left unsaid, left misunderstood. A love lost among actions not taken, among fear, lost in the distance and in bad timing. A love lost in the midst of too many hellos and too many goodbyes. A love lost in the midst of all painful expectations life created for it. A love I will never forget, its memories will be forever like candy on my tongue, it will burn its faint red glow inside of me till I die, reminding me that there is pureness inside of me, that there is beauty in the world, and that heaven and the angels still exist. Thank you for teaching me what it means to love unconditionally and for letting me put it into practice with you as long as I did. I wish you nothing less than true happiness.

WORTHLESS RHYMES

Bleeding thoughts rest in anger
My night rolls on as I surrender
Your cold blade has cut me through
It’s for sure now; this love was never meant to be true

I looked around me today
God answers my wishes when I pray
The sun shone strong upon my ocean
Giving hope I will surpass this emotion

Lingering sweet feelings when I try to sleep
Force me to grab a pen and write so deep
About this painful love unworthy
About your words, how I wish they were trustworthy

This man you are now
I still know you the same mistake somehow
Your intentions always short of good
If you knew you could love me right just once, you would?

My bloody tears stain my hopes with nowhere left to go
I imagine if I could mold you like dough
I’d add more flour so you don’t stick
Round you pointy edges so you’d be safe enough to lick

Add more sugar to take out your sour
Then check on you in the oven every half hour
Suck my fingers and let your unforgettable taste remind me
Of how I dreamt life one day could be

A veil, a vow, a marriage along a white sandy beach
In stride, we’d carry each other as high up as we could reach
I’d give you babies with my captivating smile and your pretty hazel eyes
Through all, we’d make each other laugh in happiness greater than bright blue skies

I need to separate reality from this dream
Pick up the pieces of my heart that fell in between
I can’t believe in your eyes or you laughter
Your halfway initiatives tell me there is another woman you’re after
And loving you can only bring my soul more disaster

I saw the dirt road to that hotel
With the shirtless man and spooky mademoiselle
It made me cringe at the beauty we once were
And at how I always ignored your carelessness before

This evil haunts me everywhere I go
I seem to never learn from each harder blow
That tries to push me into happier things
But how do I learn to fly with broken wings?

I think about how we’d make love until we lost sense of time
Today all I have here are these worthless rhymes
To try to makes sense of the reason I still cry
For a man who sees me choking but let’s me die

And you still compared your sadness to mine
The love doctor says your disease is benign
What you offered is not pure
If it was, you would never be this hesitant or insecure

You’d show me actions of caring
You’d search for my lips, and once found
Couldn’t stop staring
You’d realize when my aim is out of range
Step up, and be my angel for a change

You’d make up constellations with the freckles on my skin
You’d treat me as your most precious prize, even if you didn’t win
You’d offer me a home so I could lay my head to rest
You’d pull me to your chest and say don’t worry baby
I know you’re giving me your best
Not everything in life needs to be a test

I can write endlessly about things you would and should
As I try to convince myself that I wouldn’t give you another chance
Even if I could
Because, above everything, I love and value myself
And all those things you weren’t, I can find in someone else

So from now on, I kneel down and I swear
That a stronger armor against broken promises and illusions I will wear
That I won’t dedicate my life to this man who I so hopelessly love
But to a man who hopelessly loves and cherishes me
Over heaven’s above