Disfigured

I can't even count these wearisome days
Not even these bumpy years
I have this persistent fear
Trapped in my gutsy throat
People are getting drunk and high
I just sit in awe of their misery
Human how easy it is to be ignorant
Dreadful how fast I can feel loneliness
Among so many great lost souls
Searching for these meek moments in vain
I am just too used to being leaned and stepped on
Learned lessons these people never will
It's not that I am any better or any worst
I just manage to face things tough as steel
It's true that today I often begin to wonder
If fears will stay tangly as they are
I hold this possibility that this might be it
My best friends just might be these disfigurements
And I need to rest in peace knowing that
I am just as damaged as I allow myself to become