Olhos do Mar

Desculpe se nao acho palavras para te falar
Daquela cosquinha que sinto no peito
Os beijos que marcam a boca no dia seguinte
Nem comecam a explicar tanto respeito
por esse garoto com olhos do mar
com gosto gostoso e cheiro dengoso
com dedos de arte e coracao valente
Que ganha a vida com tanta garra
e como seu saudoso pai,
carrega a familia com imensa humildade
Desculpe se carinhos numa noite de luar
e' o maximo que, agora, possa te dar
Pois, minha vida cigana nao permite que eu fique
para o tempo nos levar ate' mil noites
de danca, juntinhos, suados, sorrindo, amantes.
Ja' vi muita coisa pora voltar a uma inocencia como tua
Percebo que sou caminhoneira da vida, menina de rua
que chega, entriga, ama, ensina, aprende,
depois vai embora.
Quero que saiba e espero que entenda
que nao faco isto por mal, sou quem sou,
um passaro que voa longe de acordo com as estacoes
e voce, uma arvore forte, firme na terra
que flore e oferece frutos para todos apreciar.
Tudo tem seu lugar.
Aprecio sua pessoa, sua paz, sua alegria de viver
leio no destino sobre o homem maravilhoso e realizado que vai ser
Seu talento e bondade me fascinam
e espero que lembre e enxergue meu simples amor de amiga
Saiba que sempre estara' no meu coracao,
nos meus sonhos, nas minhas preces
e que teu calor de paixao ficara' em minha imaginacao
Voce e' uma grande inspiracao
para continuar nesta minha estrada da luta
de ser sempre uma melhor mulher
para as proximas almas abencoadas que cruzarem meu caminho.

Changes

This overcast sky
mellows the scenery with snowflakes
The cool of my skin aches
traps these dreams once yours
The picture of memory flashes
Our definition changes from
happy easy street
to little sparkle across the horizon
hiding in a mystery
My words don't rhyme with metal
so I question your fight for survival
Surprises are like poetry
written on a tombstone
thus I can't handle taking off so high
Too young to want for sure
Too old to accept anything less
Scared time won't give me the
right answers
I know love is blind
but am not sure in what sense
Not sure if I want this weight
am sure in love
with all these changes

Puberty

Virgin I am
innocently learning how to please.
Tear my doors wide open
mesh the alcoholic daze with sex.
I taste the scent of us, it lingers on my lips
as we kiss.
I adore this price of giving
though my prince
has not gone through puberty yet.
Not ready to take the throne
Alone since his family all died
he comes to me, ardent, eyes blood shot
not sure of what ruling his kingdom means.
Doesn't let anyone tell him what to do
he doesn't even know how to
tell himself anything.
Pure I am, when he rests at night.
I just look like and angel, timid persay
wild inside his anatomy
trapping harder his stress
inside my gut, screaming in pain
burning with repetitious movements.
Walk away now , baby
go play with someone
dirtier and weaker.
I hope she can't speak so you can talk
play from your soul with her.
King under my rule, under my skin
so deeply, family oriented, whatever
pat my back, scratch my scabs,
high-five, too late, I can't
for when you turn to the other woman
she's better.
But you'll be lost
prince still a boy, won't last because
your definition is my dictionary of
words, tastes, scents, sounds,
sweats, sights, tricks, worlds.
Baby, you'll be king under my rule.
Happy I am, a virgin queen
ready to be torn apart
truthfully.
I will let you know who you are
teach to take on this kingdom
cry as I watch
beautiful music from your throat
spread like polen in the breeze.
I will grow fuller breasts
to feed our kids.
Sing, for I am now a woman found
although we are both still lost
ruling lust and love so well.
The shoe fits
in the midst of pretending we'll be
great parents, that we are so grown up
getting cut open
by rocks thrown at our forheads
walking our own way
loosing virginity before we even knew
condoms existed for protection
from life's transmitted diseases.

Gringo

Eu canto para nao chorar
nesta linda tarde de Domingo
onde o sol aquece a alma
e o ceu banca brejo de arco-iris.
Nao sei se devo falar
sobre a espera daquela estatua de gringo
ou se aprecio a calma
quando beijos abracam minhas crises.
A vida leva e traz
refaz, colore minha imagem
de garota mistura com mulher
de sereia brilhando com o por do sol.
Rezo para anjinhos
somente pela paz
de ser feliz no meio de tanta bobagem.
Quando peco faca
destino me manda colher
bem na hora que fisgo
o peixe do amor no meu anzol.

Vida

Pedacos escritos em papel de seda
Desaparecem com o tempo desgastante
E as marcas brilham na luz
Como risada andando pela brisa
Eh luar de mel nesta folha de papel

Instruments

Awakened from my dreams like a child
Every night I walk towards the fountain of youth
Throw a penny in, inhale the smoggy air,
Breathe out sighs and ponder
What the hell should I wish for?
I want him to play me like the plays his guitar
What a fine woman she must be
Able to dance along to his rhythm
To speak the music of his soul
I wish I was his song, his playwright of perfection
Travel along, thrown in the backseat of his truck
There we go, never grow up
If I was, so miraculously, this piece of instrument
I would have to say
I've been passed along to his possession
By the finest of fates
So many talented musicians had strummed my chords
But no one embraces my sound
Like those roughened fingertips of his
Notes erupt from his voice like a volcano
His soul blends with my Spanish beat
Like love is supposed to do.
Drowsy with sleep, I skip back to my bed
Back to dreaming.
Tomorrow I will be back at night
To stand starring at the fountain
Chucking little priceless coins of hope
Wishing to be his gracious Spanish guitar.

Realistic Happiness

You'd think it would be enough to have health, money and love, what in itself is a praiseworthy package, but, unfortunately, our desires are much more complex.
It is not enough for people to live without a hungry fever: we want, beyond health, we want to be sexy, perfectly fit, irresistible. Money? It is not enough to be able to just pay the rent, the food, and the trips to the movies: we want the Olympic swimming pool in the backyard and a season pass to a five stars spa. And what about love? Ah, love... it is not enough to have somebody with whom you can talk, divide a pizza, and to make love once in a while. This is to think small: we want capital LOVE, the entire package. We want to be viscously in love, we want to be surprised by declarations and unexpected gifts, we want candlelight dinners from Monday to Sunday, want wild sex and daily sex, we want to be happy THIS way and not any other form. I guess it's what happens when we watch too much television. We simply forget to try to be happy in a more realistic way.
To have a constant partner can or cannot be a synonym of happiness. You can be happy single, happy with occasional romances, happy with a partner, happy without one, happy with multiple ones. Small love does not exist, especially when it comes to self-love. Money is a blessing. Who has it, needs to take advantage of it, to spend it, to enjoy it. Not to waste time saving, saving, saving. Only the sufficient to feel secure, not imprisoned. And if we have just a little, it is with this little that we will try to get by, seeking for things that come for free instead, like a little of humor and laughter, a little of faith, and a little of creativity. To be happy in a realistic way is to do what is possible and to expect the impossible. To exercise without longing for fashion runways, to work without longing for stardom, to love without longing for its eternity.
Look at the clock: time to wake up. It is important to think in the extreme, to search deep inside for what mobilizes, instigates, and leads us, but without demanding itself in a superhuman way. Life is not a game where the one who most tests his limits is the only one who takes the prize. Let us not be such sorry victims of this competitiveness. If the goal is excessively high, reduce it. If you are not in accordance with the rules, QUIT. Invent your own proper game. Do what is necessary for you to be happy. But do not forget that happiness is a simple feeling, you can find it and let it slip away for not perceiving its amazing simplicity. It transmits peace and not strong feelings that cause torment and provoke restlessness in our heart. These feelings can be labeled temporary joy, passion, enthusiasm, but NOT happiness.

Far Behind

I saw a reflection in your eye
a picture of courage
A classy lacy veil draped upon my tears of joy
A man high as a tower revealing my beauty
I sank my teeth so deep
I swallowed blood
wanting the taste to linger into wine
My senses imprisoned in a box
I gave them away
Away and dreaming I fell into your shelter
My love, I gave me away
burns like ash, life is what's left
Cobwebs tangle your fingers so numb to touch
the knots ripple my calm pond of a heart
I should've studied astronomy
maybe I would've learned about your planet
My waves crash even further
and you whisper
moan desperations
I should've listened closer
like the urgencies my body was denied of
I now deny trust
Sugar turns to acid when we are bad lab partners
You shouldn't have gotten an A
I ride this beautiful horse into Texas
through the fields of moving on
I see a smile waiting for me
at the end of all time
a familiar face
a familiar crowd of strangers
I realize I deserve it. He plays the piano.
And I love myself.
My sunlight will never again
shine through your night
only on the other side, in Japan
where you can't see me
You are not a miracle
so you are blind those ways
I'm sleepy, worked too hard on us
destroyed my will to keep trying
Don't want to convice myself that
you deserve it anymore
I know your secrets; and you don't.
It's safe to say "the end"
of the road is a dark tunnel
we still need to walk through it
only now
I let the blackness of tomorrow guide my way
E, you are far behind today.

Home

Around your pretty face
A glow so warm
burns my soul
carries dreams
up to the cool moon
I can rest now
I found the place
I can call
Home
You're like Christmas Eve
in the summertime
when palm trees are lit up
in sparkly colorful lights
The irony that brought us together
is an old love song
resurfaced, twisted to make us fit
take me then... now, forever
and let it all fall into place
into home
into each other's eyes
into our own
bright blue sky

Coffee

The coffee I taste carries me home
Minnie Mouse smiles freakishly at me
from the American colored mug
I watch delivery men
wandering in and out of the kitchen
Each with their own accents
Using their hands
Struggling to communicate
in their awful broken English
I wonder how the weather is
back in their land
Such a miserable dreary sky today
sucks you into your deepest sorrows
Each thought searching
for a speck of sun
and these grown men, maybe lawyers
teachers or scientists
their breath staining the cold air
dark wet hair slicked back
foggy glasses
frowning weathered faces
frozen scarred hands
nearly breaking their backs
delivering couches to rich people
I ask myself if I'm the only one today
who cares about their story
their family, their dreams
Suddenly my problems seem
as small as grains of rice
and I feel guilty for crying last night
So I brew more of my Brazilian coffee
Pour these Great men a cup
My way of
building a moment where we can all sit
sipping
drifting to far far away
back to where we lived in innocence
where we never felt sorry for ourselves
Strangers bound by one common thread
of suffering

San Francisco

Back in San Francisco
sights speak
in tones of places I've been
places I love, speak of memories
in tongues of laughter
Jewel inspires my voice and
words spit out of my eyes
unexplicable beauty
where land meets the Pacific - Serra do Mar
curves on mountains - Ubatuba
the sway of the car makes my stomach work
- in Cunha
where waterfalls leak on side of
windy tiny roads - oh Delfim Moreira
oh Brazil
The short little surf shops
reminds me of Ocean City and its
red-neck feel
Desert earth houses and gas stations
In-N-Out burger - Simi Valley
People stopped to admire the view
dressed like hippies, buying nuts and bananas
from poor people - on route to Rio de Janeiro
The moon over Ocean Beach
is the carelessness of camping on
Chiconteague Island, VA
Redwood scent like my dad in his glory years
People are dots on narrow trails
on green dry looking pastures
I feel my childhood
in the sun on top of the mountain I hike
and then when the wind cools my warmed skin
there is no picture who can capture
the hapiness caught between all I feel
Music of the 90s on the radio
Macy's is like the greatness of 5th Avenue
Smells like a Jersey Shore Boardwalk
and a Time Square hot dog pretzel stand
I want to eat the air I taste
Chandeleir earrings like the ones
you can find dangling from just about any
Brazilian girls dancing Samba during Carnaval
The tree trunks peel like the trees
at Vo Dora's ranch and the frogs sing at night
South Street is the Eastern Haight Ashbury
with huge women's legs sticking out of windows
The Ocean view is peace
like a blackout in Manhatan
and the ground feels like that dirt road to that hotel
we coudln't find, where we slept naked
on joint matresses on the floor
Streets are narrow and long
So many different faces in such small spaces
Hoboken at night
A chicken dangles from the rearview mirror
Rainbows everywhere. I miss you here.
It's enlightment, brand new world,
feels like home
Back in San Francisco

Dibujo su sonrisa en mi miente
Encuentro en el cielo su alegria
Estrano su piel caliente
Y el amor en que por la noche me traeria