Plastic

Church bells are singing
Here she comes down the isle
Smile, and God catches her happy tear
A chameleon within branches after a storm
her slow movements chasing after a fly
an attacker as natural as the elements
a life ran in circles until momentum dies
and the cycle starts back again
each time more and more a war
trading scarred spaces for fillers
honesty for one more day of survival
Moments become a movie of her mark
a tattoo within the waste
White silk meshes with red roses
and purple butterflies with green grass fields
Grace unfolding in front of glassy eyes
she stands in front of this man
who daily masquerades caresses into every scar
she breathes in the inches of his tan skin
dreaming of her whole life ahead of him
More moments held in their speck of time
a cry hidden under classy decorations
Rich brown hair worn in curls
necklace hung in waves of pearls
She can't imagine where it would all go
when she reaches home and it is known
the dream is a moment dressed in plastic
a tattoo is her mark within all the waste
where she hoped her life would hold true to be.

Wonders

A book I forgot to write in
Never a page in doubt
I have a chip on my front tooth
I forgot about

Though it doesn't brother me
I've got lacy undergarments I never got to wear
A zero to the left
A blank mystery floating in my stare

Eyes of gold, bold
all my stories that have never been told
To lay across his lap
and let him touch me

The hand of a tainted melody
I weep where my head wonders
can't stop to erase the time
behind lingers the blind sights

Tomorrow is a carcass I spit out
a cough at the mouth of my linted ashtray
heart splitting at each word
he'll never get to say

one last time

Forever Intertwined

Ain't it funny
when a complete stranger can turn so familiar?

A muse who walks holding her head up high
knowing in the ways
she talks about the same unchained melodies
the strengths and weaknesses inscribed
a release within stories
of our mutual demise
a pain for completely different reasons
in completely contradictory ways and circumstance
yet she speaks to me in the universal language
of an anguished broken heart

An enemy or an ally, it no matter
a mirror
on the other side of the dark room
he built for us to loose ourselves in
This strong image
stands blurry, foggy, faded to the color of our translucent bleeding
my image
stands sore behind that mask
who made us inseparable
in all this hurt he brought to the knees of our graves

How does life
get so incredibly genuine
while teaching me to continue seeing beauty
in the most unusual and surprising places?
A woman, a mystery mixed into a lie
that will be held in the eternity of our endlessness
in our insatiable need for truth
A past and a present
two surreal realities
for some reason forever intertwined
A past I left behind
A now she is willing to find

Deeply ingrained inside us both lives a life full with hope
to become simple women with this great man by their side
curing all the waste left lingering inside
Fast forward in time
we can then see we were so blind
to believe in a being so lost
still a mistake in disguise
we let him be our tour guide
when he didn't even have a destination or a map to go by
not even a compass to keep either of us in stride

Where does he long to be placed into our souls?
Where does he get off faking a life full of life with both of us?
True warriors we stand up
on either side of his ragged curtains
one waiting in line outside
one wasted memories inside
In his cheap broken mind
Will he ever be able to fight
for a lover he picks out to try to love right?
for something rather than his drugged thoughts?
for forgiveness to his addiction to careless emancipations?

His attempts
to sound like everything I ever wished he'd be
chasing the tail of my bright sunny kite
flying so high
trading me for deep regret
dragging me into sinking loneliness again
when today I have so much to thank God for
meanwhile
to pretend he's everything that she saw as true before the other night
since in her perfect blue eyes everything was so new
placed so perfectly at a perfect place in time
fitting just tight enough
in her days of loneliness


Opposite seasons
same sharp wind like a blade
who cut us at the root of pureness
at the base of surrender in every shade
we still somehow knew how to offer
His evil won't fit to stop or defer me or her
a sorry man deserving of nothing
a great loss in so much meant to stay as lust
a lesson never learned to gain love's trust

Resurrection

A spoken truth, I can't put out the sign
when he lies inside me and it fits so perfectly
I drink all that I wish this could lead me
keep it all under secret because it might die
if I let it be known, there's no need to cry

no matter, no more, he is the shore
I forgot I was looking for
for now, I live it and rest in it
deeply I let it dig at this woman
deeply in the sand of all that I could want
or dream again, to win back my faith in the end

I let him, I want him to, I long hesitantly
I involve my body along his lines
I give my curves to be sculpted into the shapes
his eyes imagined before even sucking at them
I bend so he can look me in the eye and crumble

A child in a face of strength
Rough hands from working so hard all the time
natural man's scent but surprisingly smooth skin
he doesn't let me win and keeps thrusting within
after every inch has already been taken by sin

committed once and not denied
I allow myself this beauty at my side
A being so willing to be mine
what did I do to deserve his undying wishes
to include me in all the goodness he carries inside

Maybe he is blind
or God realized it's about time I lived again after I died
resurrection at it's best price
a sweetness I can never again find
to let my love flourish and this blessing be my guide

Lies

Where is the face I used to know
the warmth and glow of a knowing embrace
a facade in written poetry and rhyme
a song destined to linger in my spine
while he screams in all these things that could have been
wasted in all that was mistaken
this song never ends as he plays it to me over again
hides me in the dreams he was made to create

Where is the man who never really was
who resurfaces above my muddy lake
wearing different colors each time
but eventually fading to black
just like his song says

Carry me into a cry so blue
Take my red blood drops to his lips
Fade a bright smile to a sour yellow
mark me with purple bruises
The green he wears greedily breathes
gray, gray, gray until it makes
the hazel sparkle in his eyes a cry
that can never take back all he lied