Sixth Sense

The real indication.
My sixth sense
beating down upon engraved laws
the diligent penmanship of my verses.
I crawl dragging my limbs
in direction of a hopeless cause.
I am left to write my story
between his crooked lines;
his sick perverted lies.
I am left assuming
this is all based on queer nonsense
but my trail of anguish
screams repeatedly of bloody anger
So much, my throat gurgles
my nipples harden
my eyes water
my tongue tenses
my fist tightens, tires, then lays tender.

The wounds carry me back
to our thwarted uprooted tree
where I stand staring
at all your treachery
Standing weakly
drenched in mucous globs
polluted tears
as a death purple cloud
woes by these dreams I cry
Weeping in dear trances
I Hope for a new
hope for a few more chances
in another mindset
under other circumstances
Where I can be a blank canvas
a gift to a different painter
who chooses brighter tones of watercolors
So I can start to blossom
from the depths of an honorable heart
A sculptor who doesn't try to change
the art of my blessed sunrise
until it is meant to dusk upon his shore.
Is it too much, I ask nothing more!

I chafe
Study the fresh work of art
Grazing upon my eye
A wanton lip folds with master mystery
A woman reaching in misery
Searching as her passion is naked
An image that stood still
For a second or two or three
Stop right there!
I lost thee!
In the middle of his rotten picture frame
I blame
A dream momentarily shook awake
I blame
The bucket of his stinking blood
poured onto my dying pale crust
The foul blood of a sour coward
transfused into my veins
I blame in vain
A rebel Picasso of this lifetime
A Dali driven even more insane
Trying to rhyme

Couldn't find
The love in thee
The real indication
The real in all that you say you can be
You were all to me
You made me
With your brush strokes and your like pen
As I did to thee
to try to mold a solid companion
a great love, a noble stalion
So I say leave me now
Forever again
Leave me be,
leave my broken canvas
hanging tortuous
on the crumbling wall
but hear this
There is no one who will dance with your senses
burst out of the portrait bringing happiness and glee
even when you don't deserve half the credit
There is no one like my heavenly colors
or like the expression of love in my blueprint
or the fervent potency for all that we were
for all that I thought you would endure
for me, for sure
For God's sake, there is no cure!
Look at what you've done
to ruin the shades of my beauty, so pure
to ruin the loving shapes I could bend into
to ruin the heaven we've been to
to ruin surrender of all that I am
to ruin a devoted life
just to love thee
just to love thee

In not one, or two or three
but in all the six senses
I discern you never honestly loved me

Sick

Could he bleed for me... for her even, maybe
Is it in him to suffer all we do for him
Could he feel the sticky substances
running through his veins
I see it worse today than ever before
like a dirty whore
His ill brain, transcribed into drugs
pain and more pain
I worry I am only making more excuses
so he might seem human
I imagine what he cant pretend to be
Id like to believe he is capable
of a light at the end of a feeling
So theres a page worth reading
For living all those years with him inside saturating me
I watch a monster, he calls himself this man
Sick, really sick, not just saying it
This picture makes all of us feel better
an excuse for a reality
Watching and rearranging things
as his forces made me a black canopy
But truth unveiled over a wet lonely night
Took over my tired soul and killed
beyond the power of his evil mind
This loneliness doesnt matter
because no being that cruel and selfish
Can be natural to my world
No love of mine would hurt and lie and hurt
Till my skin starts to sear and scorn
With no remorse
Like a stubborn horse

I will take your demon love
And rip it from my flesh
I will chew the disease you made
and make my way to a clear day
Where there will be no space
Between me and honesty
I am doing this in my honor
to guarantee you will never drink me
then spit me to waste
Away
Ever
Again

Last Opening Show

So things are back to normal
The cold resuscitates between
my love and you
You, so blue, parked in the quick sand
of your self inflicted doom, so blue
Replacing golden refuges within all my beauty
for silver moons of loneliness in an unfurnished home
for steel glory to celebrate on your own
These images help me write
a then and a now when I'm blind
making up touch in my lost precious mine
where our diamonds are buried in time

I want to reach for your hand
I should want to reach for someone else's hand
actually
but you wont let me

You cultivate a blur
You never feel as much as before
or as ever
I feel you wanting to get away quicker
don't worry, Ill make it easier
Make up your mind for you
like Amy Lee did
Cant wait for you as my feeling rise stronger
The mistake I do regret sometimes
But at least I know
Not to let you peel me any longer

Things are back to normal
My angel lips
will not call out your name
That was
Our last goodbye

I am Portman
You: Law
The moment I will walk away is
Closer and Closer
I will whisper what she said
Just like in that movie I once saw

Back to normal, now
among the streets of New York
Strolling like just another face in the crowd
that's where you wish Id be
So you can pick me out
like in the Matrix
You think you can, you think you can catch me
Though you are so small
And I am Holy Trinity
I wont fall
I know Id die for you
Like she did on parts two and three
But you wont be able to revive
all that you let go
Because I'd die
With your seed left inside me

I hope you've enjoyed your last cowardly performance
because this is my last hit
the last bit of me you deserved
my last opening show
not even close to my last breath
but, certainly, my last skit