A Place Too Dark To Reminisce

I tripped, I still fall
crawl, try to stare in awe
place my arms around his neck and draw a hug inside my broken wall
I can't open my eyes because they aren't ready yet
I whip a chain out and continue to beat my scars
I can't satiate in our sweat yet
I serve in waves of pleasure where he lays a healthy kiss
as if our hormones just came back from a war
they fight so hard and armed they dance
a trance, a chance I shouldn't miss
too deep again, inside the place too dark to reminisce
a place where I should find myself in bliss
where fire will never burn so innocent again
where I don't know how to let go so easily
where I found the brass key
to unlock so many meaningless demands
where I'm scared love will kill at me in the end
But I lend my hand
attempt a day by day though askance
let him unwrap me in thin layers
explore fields of freckles, birthmarks, goosebumps
study my math in angles, depth, shape, form
transform a sandstorm into a clear blue sea
the one that just might begin to slowly dig out
the death clung to me

Unrefined

Engroped in the memories that lingered
The year where I didn't even see
Learning I can't leave this all behind
with so much to say but so sick of lies
Inspiration died
at the mouth of a love denied and blind
My pen is weak where I stroke the pages
Like in life where I breathe a smokey sigh
taste the salty tears where my soul
is so tired to hold them inside
I listen with all my days as a testament
making up laws to believe in these sounds
of where I'm supposed to move on to
I'm screaming in pain from what is left of me
to make out with someone else's burning
to lift a hand to my lips yearning
I can make someone a man again
so I can fill the lesser person
awake to so many demands
Too long I lend my soul to that man
Too long walking without taking a stand
to better this life in me
to live the life invested in the dreams I am free