Hangman

Lacy fingers against his mocha skin
The diminutive of what I was
Lying beside a moment of inhibition
I turn the page
His meaty lips cover mine in demand of something more
His legs are thick and I imagine everything else
Must be just like what I feel through clothes
He is watching me sing, I grab his skin
Taste the salty droplets on his neck
And feel like the best he's ever had
His hand slides heavy, shaping to all my body
Taking all the pain, chasing my tears
For a moment, just a moment in vain

I know I will tell him to go away soon
and someday I will cry
For another chance I watched decay
Crucify my senses once again
Afraid of being sacrificed by them
I know there are so many saviors
offering me their noble service
They'd take me into their arms any day
Kiss my feet and then die in peace
From the sex in my eyes
From my venom, my addictive lovemaking
The death grip of my thighs

I am the upside down hangman
I martyr love, let me feel again
I want to kill no more

Unwelcome Sunrise

I circle into a transit
So sweet as I bend into its turns
The asphalt breaching me unholy
As I follow the road

I mean to love him
But I walk the tracks alone
I look towards the sunset in my horizon
The unreachable rest

Follow me and dance
Holding my eyes drunk in yours,
Feather me and lead the way
Laughing fearless into my soft caress

Pin my leg down so I don't run
Chase my footsteps into solid ground
Take me to bed
Undress my wholesome breasts

Cheer me on and lay inside me
Till dawn, the ever imminent dawn
Say you need me in gasp of day
The break of it so oblong

When it's you laying soundless
Tangled in my mesh of long hair
I smile as the moment presents itself
This imagery, a background I read about

I tasted this before, I know
Long ago
I wrapped my legs around you
And took you into my pleasure cone

Inhibitions filled my skies
It was all I needed to feel alive
Again
Inside

Inside my needy heavy hugs
My empty hopes to love
I mean to love him
But it's not enough, I walk alone

Towards unreachable rest
Marching into twilight
Where my eyes will blink
And we will be just such good friends

Once again
After a carnal blissful night
The unwelcome sunrise
Silently arrives

Why?

I know I'm not supposed to feel
I know I am meant to heal

and I rhyme in all obvious ways
because they say everyone experiences the same

love has hurt me
love has gone away,
love will come again
someday

and I'm supposed to move on
I type so fast I can't feel my fingertips
I laugh in distraught mistakes in vain I lean
on a day where I will make love that way again
gain a strength that I can't build on my own
I can pretend, I can fight till the end
and I can crumble when he lays his hand upon mine

and kisses the places where I dreamt and licks my senses
blind with insence and lost in blind hopes as lusty breath tenses
my breath tenses

Why? Why am I so loving to him
why do I hope within that he will hope to be mine
and turn into my, my man so divine

I am so blind
the piano plays in keys flat and monotone
childish am I... childish am I...

I write about the same all the time
same man, same burned out split open insides

Why? Why am I so blind and can't get through my withins
can't cry anymore
can't dive any deeper
can't take these daily chores staring at a waveless shore
without the love I felt so much, I am the tear
the tear keeper
the binding soul colorblind to the weakness

in his death smile

in his "love", I am weaker